I, Being Myself

I was sitting on a hospital chair, countless questions flashing through my mind, doubting my own ability to take care of my family. A twenty thousand rupees bill was resting in my hand, frustratingly reassuring how screwed up I was. It’s been an year after I started working in a college nearby, whose salary I spent mostly on my GRE and TOEFL books and exams, since like many other youngsters, it was my dream to do PhD in US and settle down there. I was eagerly waiting for my admission results to come.

I was happy and careless till my dad got admitted to hospital for Pulmonary Embolism, a disease that causes clotting of blood, three days before. Doctor said that we are lucky to have him back, since blood clot was heavy around his heart. Hearing this, my sister, who was married and staying at Bangalore, came to stay with us. Even though dad was out of danger, doctors wanted him to be under observation for one week, which demanded hefty amount bill payments.

The male chauvinist ego in me was getting hurt and I was feeling ashamed because my mom was paying all the bills and I did not have enough money to pay even a single bill. As a son, I am supposed to take care of my family in financial or any other aspect, but I had failed. That is why when I got the ICU rent bill of twenty thousand I thought I will make arrangement for the money and will pay bill without asking mom. Since it was the elastic month end and my friends were like me, I was not able to collect even a penny.

I was in the hospital room, looking through the window, thinking about what to do next, somebody patted on my shoulders. It was my sister. Looking at me, she understood that I was nervous, but without knowing the reason behind it she told me

“Don’t worry Abhi, Dad will be fine. “

I turned to her and she gave me a soothing look.

“listen Abhi, I have paid ICU bill so don’t pay that again!.”

I asked in bewilderment

“How do you come to know the bill? I got it only five minutes before and you were not here at that time!”

She smiled and said

“Yesterday I asked the nurse when ICU rent will be billed and she told me to ask at the counter today morning. So while coming, I asked there and paid it. Mom is paying all the bills, rite. So I wanted to help mom.”

Her phone rang and she left the room saying that it was from her husband. So there sat I, on a hospital chair, countless questions flashing through my mind, cursing my own inability to fund my family needs, keeping my head down in shame and anger.

I looked up, when I felt somebody stroking my hair. It was my mom.

“What happened to you Abhi?”, I could see the concern for me in her eyes. I was on the edge of an emotional outburst, which I was suppressing so far and I don’t want to struggle with it anymore. So I opened up and told my mom everything. 

After hearing me, understanding my dilemma, she placed her palm over my cheeks and lifted my face and smiled.

“Listen Abhi, as a son you want to give us the best, I know. But what gives us happiness is not the amount of money you spent on us or how much successful you are in your life. But what will be more welcoming is you being with us in every inch of our life, in struggle, in happiness. I was able to get your dad to hospital on the middle of night only because you were there with me. And that is more than any financial support or luxurious life you can provide us. “

She leaned forward and kissed on my cheeks, like she used to do when I was kid. More than being a millionaire or reaching the enchanting United States, I realized there is something more to be cherished and looked for. That day I left the road to success and I started appreciating my true life.

LOVE IS BLIND?

“It was not a bad proposal after all” Deepa thought, looking at Vasanth. Vasanth seemed nervous. That was because after a long term crush on Deepa, he just had proposed her and was waiting for her reply while thinking about what are all went wrong from his planned proposal to the one that happened.

  “Come on, you have faced much worse proposals”, she said herself and she couldn’t help remembering the worst one among them. At that time she was only 15 and was studying in a Kendriya Vidyalaya school in Delhi, it was interval time and she was sitting in the class completing an assignment. Suddenly something came and hit on her head. She fell down, her head stared bleeding and she lost her consciousness for some time. Then somebody poured water onto her face and she got back her consciousness. To her bewilderment, the thing that came and hit her was a stone covered in a love letter, written by a boy in her class, proposing her.

 For a beautiful girl like her, there was no lack of admirers and she got varieties of proposals. But she never replied to them because she felt that most of those guys where selfish. She felt that all they were worried is about fulfilling their dreams and she was sure that they won’t give a damn about her dreams. All she wanted is a loving and understanding guy and all they wanted is a girl to make love to.

So, for her, all of them were real male chauvinists. But Vasanth was not one of them. He was genuine, smart, funny and well settled, a species of men which will be vanishing from the face of earth, very soon. So she was thinking seriously about the proposal.

For vasanth, it was his first proposal he has ever done. Because his love was not governed by Mermaid Theory of  How I met your mother series, like you are desperate for a female companionship and if you are no way getting it, then even the world’s ugliest girl will look like a mermaid to you. He was never attracted to any women like this before mainly because of he found their some characteristics annoyed him.

To him, some of them never understood his joke unless and until it’s followed by “Just kidding”. Some showed bossy character, while being labelled as somebody's wife was ultimate aim for some. And some, well to put in words of Vasanth the computer engineer, was like a computer without processing unit. They had input unit output unit and a very good memory, but no processing unit. They never had their own opinions, blindly believed the input. And the reasons went on like that.

But Deepa was different. She had a character, she cared about others and being somebody’s wife was not her career ambition. Again putting in words of Vasanth, she had all the hardware and software system requirements he needed.

Finally Deepa broke her silence and said, “Yes”. Vasanth punched on the table because of overflowing happiness and the chapter of proposal has ended. 

Actually this love and proposal should have been a specialized course of mathematics, too much of calculation and statistical analysis, then it would have been a subject most of the people will fail.

Still people say love is blind…Is it?.. Or is it just that their calculation goes wrong since most of the data provided during love are pseudo values.

Twisted

“Oh god, I really look like a fool”. Nalin thought. He was right; it was really odd. Because it was 2 O clock in the afternoon and he was in a park looking for a beggar. Other than him there were only a few cleaners there. There was a reason for him being there.

On the previous day he went there with his dad for the first time, Ratnakar, the owner of RK group of industries. And while talking they started arguing on a matter. The problem was a clichéd one. Nalin runs an old age home, Kripa, just outside the city limits. Since Ratnakar believes that the place will be part of the city skirts in 2 or 3 years he wanted to build a Shopping complex there. On the next day he was going to sign a deal with a Korean company who will be his partners in building that shopping complex. He was not even ready to give Nalin another place to run the old age home.

“Why are you doing this dad, for money? Can’t you see - how many people are going to be affected by your action?”

Ratnakar smiled at his son as he is looking at a three year old son crying for a toy.

“You are right son, I can’t see that and I don’t have to because unlike you I am not a social activist. I am a business man. You have seen race horses right, their eyes will covered partially, so they will not get distracted, they will be having one aim , one business, one target. A business man is also like that he should only see the target, which is profit; If he gets distracted he will lose. “

Nalin was tired, arguing to his father every day for one or the other reason, and even after these years he was not able to correct his father. He was baffled.

“You are right you were always looking at profit, that’s why you failed to notice that you are left with nothing but money, no friends, no relatives. This attitude of yours even caused mom to leave us, and I am too leaving you now dad, forever. And remember one thing dad, profit of yours is somebody else’s loss,  your gain is somebody’s pain. What you earn from other’s pain is not going to be eternal”.

Nalin took off.  Ratnakar was also about to leave. It was at that time he heard

“He is right you know, Don’t lose him too, call him back"

Ratnakar looked back. There was some one standing behind him, a man in his mid-sixties.

 “Really?” . He thought because the guy looked like a beggar, his dress was torn here and there “last thing I want now is an advice from a beggar!!”. 

He started leaving. But the beggar said

“Hey sir, don’t leave, listen to me. I know I look like a beggar and I am one, but I was not. A year back, I was like you, a business man. My life was good till my partner cheated me and took all my wealth. Then only I understood that I was standing alone, no friends, no family. You don’t want to end up like that, do you? ”.

Ratnakar was appalled hearing all this. He could not believe what he heard. He thought somebody is making fun of him after hearing the conversation between him and his son.  But next thing the man said shocked him more

“And don’t demolish that old age home, you might need an asylum when you become like me or can you live in the streets like me?”. He laughed loudly and ran away.

Long story short, Ratnakar was terrified and he cancelled the dea. He told everything to Nalin and asked him to take the beggar to old age home. Nalin fianlly found the beggar finally and told him

“your speech yesterday made my father change his decision; thank you for that”

Nalin handed over a cover to him and said.

“you don’t need to act as a beggar any more. Change the dress, our plan has succeeded”.

And they started laughing!

Indian Penal Code :Section 375

“Not now please”, Raghu thought. This was the third time he was promising his wife that he will take her for a movie. So he was going to leave 2 hours earlier so that he can spent at least an hour at home before going to the movie. It was at that time a woman with an attempted rape case came running to his office. He realized that he is not going anywhere for at least an hour. That is one of the inconveniences of being a police officer; you don’t have time and life of your own.

She was breathing heavily. He asked her to sit and calm down. He gave her a bottle of water to drink. She drank the entire bottle and breathing started coming back to normal. He looked at her; she was in her mid-thirties, very beautiful, other than nail polish, she had no extra make ups. She was wearing a yellow sari and a yellow blouse. Hands of the blouse were partially ripped off, and her sari was torn here and there. It looked as if she was the victim of an assault. 

“He tried to rape me”, she said.

Yes, it is evident; Raghu thought. There were lots of nail marks on her hand and shoulders. She was gasping and it looked like she won’t be able to tell completely what happened. She needed time to relax. So Raghu called a lady officer to take the photographs of the marks and bruises on her body, which can be listed as evidence. He just asked her the name of the guy who did this to her. It was her boss. He took the phone no from the lady and asked him to come to his office immediately.

When the lady came back, Raghu asked her to elaborate the things happened.

She said her name is Swati. She is working as an Cashier at “Dollar Exchange” owned by Mr Chandrakanth. She was working overtime after office hours along with her boss as suggested by him, since there were lots of works pending.

“When everybody else went and we became alone, he tried to……” She started crying again. He told her to relax and then filed the report.

A car came outside the station. It was Mr.chandrakant. Raghu took him to a separate room and interrogated him.

“She is lying sir”, Chandrakant said.

“Sir when the cash closed yesterday, I found a deficit of Rs 2lakh. Since she was the Cashier, I asked her. She told that we can sit and recheck that, next day after the office hours. I agreed because it will be very rush at officer hours and we don’t have that much man power to manage things. When we sat after office hours, she left that room saying that she will come in a minute. But she didn’t come. When I asked the security guard, he said that she had left the office screaming and her dresses were torn. I tried on her cell but it was switched off.”

The lady officer came back with the photos. Raghu and Chandrakant came back to his office with the lady officer. Swati and chandrakant looked each other. She was scared and he was angry.

Raghu looked through the photos and a smile rose around his lips. Looking at the photos he said

“well, I have enough evidence to prove your guilt, so you are under arrest.”

Mr.chandrakant got shocked and said

“I swear I didn’t do it sir, I have a small kid at home; I don’t behave like this to women, ask any one if you want”

“I know that”, Raghu said, “bye the way, I was not talking to you, I am talking to you Swati, you are under arrest for faking a rape”.

Raghu asked the lady officer to take her in custody. And said

“All these bruises and marks are made by her only. Check her nails. I am sure that we will get at least a piece of skin from there, mark it as evidence”.

Mr.chandrakant said thanks to Raghu for saving him. And while leaving he asked

“Sir what about my 2 lakhs?”

“Give a petition tomorrow; we will look into that too”. He said

The lady officer came back as Raghu was getting ready to leave. She asked

“Sir how did you know that she was faking the rape? ”

He smiled and said

“From those pictures, madam. You see, When somebody try to rape any one the marks orientation will be from top to bottom and inside to outside. But look at this pic. This mark on her thigh, it’s from top to bottom but outside to inside. This happens only when you try to make a mark on your own. ”

She seemed pretty impressed. But the she was not quite sure why Swati did it. Raghu told her

“Her MD was going to file a case against her, So if she trap him in this case, she can make others believe that he made that case to take revenge on her. Nobody listen to guys, lady ….So she would have been in a strong position if the case were filed”.

She smiled and said” You solved a case in 45 minute sir, great”

He said” I had to. Have you ever heard of a phrase ‘majboori ka naam hai mahathma gandhi’… Majboori madam Majboori”

Raghu ran out of the office since there was only an hour left for the movie as she smiled at him.

Genetically Acquired

Mr And Mrs Jeevan’s hearts were filling with joy and proud, looking at the photo of their parents. Joy because their only son was going to get married and proud because, to well understand that part, it is necessary to go through the history of Jeevan.

Jeevan was born in a typical “jameen” Family. His parents possessed all the typical characteristics of landlords. It was at that time he fell in love with Riya, a girl from different religion. When his parents heard about it, as we see in all the love stories, it became a big issue and His parents tried all the clichéd methods to make him break up with her. But since he was their son, who genetically acquired their stubbornness and ofcourse their cunningness, he overcame all these and got married to her.

On the day of marriage, outside the registrar’s office,  in front of everyone, his parents told him

“One day you too will have a son or daughter and they are going to put you in a situation like this, then you will understand how much pain you caused us.  ”

Since he had the genus of his parents, he was not in mood to loose, he said

“Ofcourse not, we will let him or her live on their will, we will never impose anything on our children, so no way that anything as such will happen.”

 So when their son came to them a day before and said that he had found his partner, even without asking her name Mr and Mrs jeevan said

“Invite your friend for dinner tomorrow”

So they were proud that they kept the word and happy that a new member going to arrive in the family.

“Mom, Dad here is the one I love”

The proud parents turned around and looked for their” Hone wali” Daughter in law, they saw a man standing near their son.

“Mom , Dad He is the one I am in love with”

He said, putting his hands on the shoulders of the man.

The proud (?) parents screamed

“What the F….”

Keep Smiling

She stood near the window looking at the full moon sky with a smile on her face. It was her way of relaxing. It was a habit she got from her husband. He used to stare at the sky for a long time when he was stressed or unhappy.  She remembered the last time when she stood like this. Unlike this, at that time she wasn’t alone, she was with him, and she was in a state of confusion and he was trying to resolve it.

He was sitting on the window looking at the sky and she was there beside him looking at him waiting for his verdict. Then suddenly he stopped looking outside, took a deep breath and looked at her and smiled at her like “I will tell you what”

“In my opinion you should go.”

She looked at him as if how can she do that.  He continued

“Look, getting an invitation from this University to do research along with their research team is surely a milestone in your career that others will die or kill for. So I will say that renouncing this chance for anything is not sacrifice; it is just a stupid decision that you are going to regret”.

She looked at him like she was not convinced and asked

“How can I just go leaving you and our baby here, she is just two year old and FYI we are talking about going to a different country for two years?”

He stood up and looked in her eyes. Stroking over her hair upward down and told

“Look, there will be some moment in everybody’s life where they feel bad about the things they have missed that they could have achieved easily or they could have at least tried of doing. I don’t want you to have any of such moment in your life. If you give up this chance for me or just because you feel that I won’t be able to take care our little princess alone myself, I won’t be able to forgive myself because what being with me has costed you and I am ready to do whatever it takes to make sure that anything such won’t happen”.

She hugged him, rested her head on his chest. Tears came from her eyes. She looked in his eyes and asked him

“Do you love me that much?.”

He nodded

“Then what you will do till I come back?”

He smiled and kissed her and told

“As they sing in that song,

 Where ever you go whatever you do I will be right here waiting for you,

 Whatever it takes for that my heart brakes I will be right here waiting for you”

They laughed.

She stood there with her mind exploring those things happened three years before. On previous day he died of an accident and she even refused to see his body and those who asked her about this got an answer which they were not able to digest

“To me he is alive in my memories, I still feel him around and I don’t want the last memory our life to be him being dead and this feeling will help me to keep my life going.”

But she told herself the truth that

“He wanted to see me happy all the time, I won’t be happy even for a second after seeing his body. Since I need to keep the feel alive that he is with me, I am not going to see him dead. I want to live this life as he wanted me to, happily. I owe him more than that and this is the least I can do”.

She looked at the moon and smiled.

First Love: Worst of all my mistakes

This is not what I thought would happen. This is not what I had prepared for. I thought I never will be shocked hearing her after I proposed her. Because I had the “funda” of expecting the worst. I used to tell my friends, who unfortunately were the victims of my philosophical “atyachar”, that…

“if you are going to propose a girl then expect that she will tell that you are like a brother to her. Because even if she says she is not interested in you, she may get interest in future. If she is married she can get divorced or widowed in future”.

I know what you are thinking, yes you got that right, I am a mean bastard. And I used to continue…

“But if she calls you ‘bro’. Done. Dead end. Forget it. So if you expect the worst,  everything will be best”.

Since I was kind off a cool guy I never was supposed to be shocked after hearing whatever she told me after I proposed her. But speaking frankly that was one dimension I never had really thought off.

On the day of the proposal I called her in the morning and as planned asked her out for a dinner. She said yes and I was really happy that everything was going smooth and fine and as planned (Most important). As I posed throughout, I was an expert in everything, even in love dating etc etc, even though not experienced, I never had a doubt about doing a perfect proposal. You may ask that how an inexperienced man can be an expert, well I would like to put it in this way that ”I would like to learn from others mistakes”.

On that beautiful night I proposed her in a way that wanted, rather I was dreaming for a long time. And as I used to suggest to others I was expecting the worst reply. She didn’t reply. Instead she posed a question to me.

“Gautham, I am in love with guru, one of my classmates. I told my parents about the affair, but they didn’t’ agree since he is not from our state, so we decided to run away from home. Can you pls take me to the railway station at 2’O clock in the morning?. And pls make sure that my parents doesn’t know about it.”

This angle I was not really expecting. First thing that came into my mind after hearing that was a scene from an old Tamil movie. And you know what I did? . Yes got it right. Since I am a mean bastard I informed her parents. She doesn’t know I was behind it even now.  Now she is my wife as I dreamed and because of that only reason I really feel that on that day I really should have helped her to run away.