Keep Smiling

She stood near the window looking at the full moon sky with a smile on her face. It was her way of relaxing. It was a habit she got from her husband. He used to stare at the sky for a long time when he was stressed or unhappy.  She remembered the last time when she stood like this. Unlike this, at that time she wasn’t alone, she was with him, and she was in a state of confusion and he was trying to resolve it.

He was sitting on the window looking at the sky and she was there beside him looking at him waiting for his verdict. Then suddenly he stopped looking outside, took a deep breath and looked at her and smiled at her like “I will tell you what”

“In my opinion you should go.”

She looked at him as if how can she do that.  He continued

“Look, getting an invitation from this University to do research along with their research team is surely a milestone in your career that others will die or kill for. So I will say that renouncing this chance for anything is not sacrifice; it is just a stupid decision that you are going to regret”.

She looked at him like she was not convinced and asked

“How can I just go leaving you and our baby here, she is just two year old and FYI we are talking about going to a different country for two years?”

He stood up and looked in her eyes. Stroking over her hair upward down and told

“Look, there will be some moment in everybody’s life where they feel bad about the things they have missed that they could have achieved easily or they could have at least tried of doing. I don’t want you to have any of such moment in your life. If you give up this chance for me or just because you feel that I won’t be able to take care our little princess alone myself, I won’t be able to forgive myself because what being with me has costed you and I am ready to do whatever it takes to make sure that anything such won’t happen”.

She hugged him, rested her head on his chest. Tears came from her eyes. She looked in his eyes and asked him

“Do you love me that much?.”

He nodded

“Then what you will do till I come back?”

He smiled and kissed her and told

“As they sing in that song,

 Where ever you go whatever you do I will be right here waiting for you,

 Whatever it takes for that my heart brakes I will be right here waiting for you”

They laughed.

She stood there with her mind exploring those things happened three years before. On previous day he died of an accident and she even refused to see his body and those who asked her about this got an answer which they were not able to digest

“To me he is alive in my memories, I still feel him around and I don’t want the last memory our life to be him being dead and this feeling will help me to keep my life going.”

But she told herself the truth that

“He wanted to see me happy all the time, I won’t be happy even for a second after seeing his body. Since I need to keep the feel alive that he is with me, I am not going to see him dead. I want to live this life as he wanted me to, happily. I owe him more than that and this is the least I can do”.

She looked at the moon and smiled.