I was
sitting on a hospital chair, countless questions flashing through my mind,
doubting my own ability to take care of my family. A twenty thousand rupees
bill was resting in my hand, frustratingly reassuring how screwed up I was. It’s
been an year after I started working in a college nearby, whose salary I spent
mostly on my GRE and TOEFL books and exams, since like many other youngsters,
it was my dream to do PhD in US and settle down there. I was eagerly waiting
for my admission results to come.
I was
happy and careless till my dad got admitted to hospital for Pulmonary Embolism,
a disease that causes clotting of blood, three days before. Doctor said that we
are lucky to have him back, since blood clot was heavy around his heart. Hearing
this, my sister, who was married and staying at Bangalore, came to stay with
us. Even though dad was out of danger, doctors wanted him to be under
observation for one week, which demanded hefty amount bill payments.
The male
chauvinist ego in me was getting hurt and I was feeling ashamed because my mom
was paying all the bills and I did not have enough money to pay even a single
bill. As a son, I am supposed to take care of my family in financial or any
other aspect, but I had failed. That is why when I got the ICU rent bill of twenty
thousand I thought I will make arrangement for the money and will pay bill
without asking mom. Since it was the elastic month end and my friends were like
me, I was not able to collect even a penny.
I was
in the hospital room, looking through the window, thinking about what to do
next, somebody patted on my shoulders. It was my sister. Looking at me, she
understood that I was nervous, but without knowing the reason behind it she
told me
I
turned to her and she gave me a soothing look.
“listen
Abhi, I have paid ICU bill so don’t pay that again!.”
I
asked in bewilderment
“How
do you come to know the bill? I got it only five minutes before and you were
not here at that time!”
She
smiled and said
“Yesterday
I asked the nurse when ICU rent will be billed and she told me to ask at the
counter today morning. So while coming, I asked there and paid it. Mom is
paying all the bills, rite. So I wanted to help mom.”
Her
phone rang and she left the room saying that it was from her husband. So
there sat I, on a hospital chair, countless questions flashing through my mind,
cursing my own inability to fund my family needs, keeping my head down in shame
and anger.
I
looked up, when I felt somebody stroking my hair. It was my mom.
“What
happened to you Abhi?”, I could see the concern for me in her eyes. I was on
the edge of an emotional outburst, which I was suppressing so far and I don’t
want to struggle with it anymore. So I opened up and told my mom
everything.
After
hearing me, understanding my dilemma, she placed her palm over my cheeks and
lifted my face and smiled.
“Listen
Abhi, as a son you want to give us the best, I know. But what gives us
happiness is not the amount of money you spent on us or how much successful you
are in your life. But what will be more welcoming is you being with us in every
inch of our life, in struggle, in happiness. I was able to get your dad to
hospital on the middle of night only because you were there with me. And that
is more than any financial support or luxurious life you can provide us. “
She leaned forward and kissed on my cheeks, like she used to do when I
was kid. More than being a millionaire or reaching the enchanting United
States, I realized there is something more to be cherished and looked for. That
day I left the road to success and I started appreciating my true life.
